Turning a life-altering negative into a positive.

Four weeks ago today I got a phone call that every Mom dreads. It was my eldest son Niall, he's twenty-one and he was in the hospital. He has been living and working in Alabama for the past eighteen months and was enjoying his life. Then came the phone call. "Mom, is there any history of MS ( Multiple sclerosis) in the family.  My initial reaction was "of course not, don't be daft, why on earth do you want to know that?"

His reply floored me..

"I'm in the hospital and they think I have MS"

I went cold. Surely I didn't hear that, no, not my son, he's only a baby, he can't possibly be sick..

And so followed an agonizing forty eight hours of tests. CAT scan, contrast MRA, contrast MRI.  He called me on Wednesday night, sobbing, yes, it was confirmed. I dissolved into a big bucket of jello.  Poor Bill was at a loss as to what to do to comfort me. I experienced a plethora of emotions. I was angry, sad, frightened, confused, shocked and I felt helpless. This was my child and I felt as though I had failed him.

He wanted to come home, he wanted to be around his family as we embarked on a journey into the unknown. I booked him a flight and on the following Monday he was back, safe in my arms and very scared.

MS is life changing. It affects each sufferer in different ways and no-one can predict who will deteriorate when. I read everything I could on the subject, and I mean EVERYTHING. Knowledge is power and I needed power in order to be the best help that I could be for him. I knew that we had two choices: we could let this thing take over his life or we could fight it every step of the way.  We chose the latter.

And so something so negative was turned into a positive. It boils down to how you view the situation that you find yourself in.  This situation will not go away but it has been a very positive experience.

How come? This is something that could send him blind, lose the ability to walk, create memory loss etc, etc.. so how can anything be positive?

It is.

Look at it this way:  I have my son home again. I get to see him daily instead of once a year. The shock of his illness and it's implications made his brothers and sister re-evaluate their relationships with each other. They have become much closer and want to spend more time together. My son was told in no uncertain terms by the Neurologist that he MUST get some kind of physical activity every day and have a healthy balanced diet if he wants to help slow the progression of MS. He came home and got a job at an equestrian center. It's a physically demanding job and this is a good thing for him, it will help stave off the progression of his MS. His diagnosis has also made my son realize that anything can happen to anyone, never take anything for granted and so he doesn't.

All positive things.

What has this taught me?  Well, no matter how bad the situation seems, you can always find the positive in there if you want to. We know that we are in this for life with him but that doesn't mean we have to just curl up and hold a daily pity party. Much good has, and will, come out of this and we will take it day by day, continually hoping that a cure will be found.